Why We Need To Stop Expecting For Our Mental Wellbeing
It is normal to have expectations for tomorrow or next year, but they often come at a price. Unfortunately, reality often falls short of our expectations.
Looking back on 2020, we had our expectations so frequently shattered. Careers put on hold to weddings and trips abroad cancelled. It has bought the limits of reality into focus.
How Expectations Is Directly Related To Our Happiness?
The link of our expectations to happiness is clear. It’s common sense, if you think about it. The best party is the one, where you had no expectations. Or for example, how good does it feel when you receive an unexpected tax rebate or a promotion.
Actually, an engineer named Mo Gawdat who had been through a hard patch came up with a mathematical formula to express what happiness actually is, and this is what he came up with:
“Happiness is equal to or greater than the events of your life minus your expectation of how life should be”
Why Generation Z And Millennials Are The Hardest Hit By Expectations?
Generation Z and Millennials were brought up being told they could fulfil even their wildest dreams. They grew up with that message, and saw the rise of the reality star, and later on the social media “star”.
This juxtaposition between reality and expectation has become dangerous. Qualities such as hard work or loyalty replaced by getting rich quick and a focus on personal image.
In this atmosphere, we see moderate success, holding a steady job and having your own place, as something that one is entitled to. The reality of the world is that there are setbacks and that the type of success described above is a more realistic proposition.
Nevertheless, we need to have the grit to persevere . This could relate to education or business.
A job might not come through. Perhaps education is the way to achieve it. Why not go to university and pursue it? Three years of college. No, a lot of us think, we need to have our vacation and aim to be a millionaire by thirty.
The visibility and media presentation of the wealthy has not helped this. Since the 1980s, the flaunting of wealth has become widely accepted as the restraining power of religion has weakened.
On top of this, with social media, we see every aspect of the lives of the rich and famous. Many want to replicate this lifestyle without the hard work.
This is not endorsing the Millennials Are All Snowflakes crowd. That is categorically unfair.
The fact is that Millennials and Generation Z are a product of a society that has become obsessed with material wealth and rugged individualism, beyond everything else.
If you fail it’s your fault, whilst simultaneously you need to be “someone” and have an active social life. It is no surprise we are witnessing a generation facing a mental health crisis and burnout.
Why We All Need To Start The Celebrating The Normal Life?
Most of us aren’t going to be multi-millionaires, but a fair few of us will live decent middle class lives. Lives that two hundred years ago would have seen beyond the imagination.
We need to start celebrating the “9 to 5”, the fact that a growing proportion of the world can afford nourishing food, a warm bed and increasingly creature comforts ranging from dishwashers to hot showers.
This should be celebrated. The fact that we live longer too. Yes, we are living through a Global Pandemic, to not minimize the huge difficulties that many are experiencing right now.
This does not mean that despite the challenges we remain on a trajectory where living standards globally are still on the rise.
Likewise, we need to value different role models in society. We should teach the children of today that to be a teacher, a nurse, a bus driver or a cleaner holds us much value as being a billionaire. Financial accumulation should not be the defining measure of success.
The defining feature of success should be having a life which is meaningful, and most of all, being happy with the life you have and with who you are. The first step you can take is to stop expecting.
